


How to Spell Love

by KCAndrews



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-07-01 14:23:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15775887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KCAndrews/pseuds/KCAndrews
Summary: Castiel works to speak Dean's love language. Is the way to the Winchester's heart words of affirmation or gift giving? Either way, things get steamy once Castiel cracks the code.Some fluff, some hurt and comfort. Super cute, ooey-gooey stuffs!





	1. Words of Affirmation

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to thank the beautiful Sarah Rightmer for editing my works and making sure they are the best that I get to you guys! 
> 
> This is a chapter story, I am going to try to post a couple chapters every week or so! 
> 
> I have been working on writing fanfic for a couple months, but I'm always open to tips. Feel free to leave some comments on how I could improve my writing.
> 
> I hop you guys have as much fun reading as I have had writing this piece.

During one of his many nights at the bunker, Castiel pondered how to finally tell Dean about his feelings for the man. He knew that in all the popular movies, a man would perform a grand gesture of romance and sweep a woman off of her feet. While he knew that he loved Dean, he knew that the man would never forgive him if he did anything of that sort. Instead, he found himself borrowing Sam’s laptop to look up ways to tell someone you love them. A quick search brought him to something called love languages. He found a spark notes version and read through it quickly. Making a mental note of what the love languages were, Castiel decided to try it.

Why not start at the top, he thought to himself. What did he have to lose? If Dean remained oblivious, then Cas would give it a rest. He would forever love the human with eyes so green he often wanted to get lost in them as he had the first time he experienced a forest. So many shades of green… 

Lost in his less than wholesome thoughts, Cas didn’t realize when Sam walked into the room. He quickly cleared the browser history and handed the laptop to the tall man.

“Did you find anything on the case?” Sam asked, rubbing his eyes and holding a cup of tea.

Looking up with a slightly furrowed brow Cas responded, “Yes, the deceased seems to have been branded. He also wasn’t the first body to show up bearing the mark.”

“Who had what on their body?” Dean asked, walking into the room wearing a gray tee-shirt while holding a large mug filled with black coffee.

Internally, Castiel was exploding. How could that man be so absolutely gorgeous? Those full lips, those long lashes, even the stubble on his face grew in perfectly. Externally, Cas continued as if his entire reason for existing hadn’t just entered the room. Turning to the older hunter he said, “The most recent victim, of what seems to be a poltergeist, is also adorned with the same brand. I was unable to identify it.” 

“Well, let’s get loaded and hit the road.”

With that the three men went their separate ways to prepare for the hunt. Dean went to the garage to do his regular pre-trip check on Baby. Sam left to grab some additional research on ghosts. And Castiel headed to his room in the bunker pretending that he had some items to grab as well. 

Once safely concealed in his room, Cas thought over the list in his head.

1) Words of affirmation- verbally express love and gratitude for the person.  
2) Acts of service- action done to make loved one’s life simpler.  
3) Quality time- time spent together with undivided attention.  
4) Gift giving- thoughtful and tangible gifts that symbolize love.  
5) Physical touch- non-sexual touch for comfort, reinforces presence.

Words of affirmation. That should be easy enough. Being an angel, Castiel knew plenty of ways to express himself. The hard part would be narrowing down the ways that Dean would not only understand, but would also appreciate. 

When he heard a knock, Cas hurried to the door. 

Dean poked his head in and asked, “Ready to go man? We are packed and Baby is waiting.”

Pausing for a brief moment and looking down at the ground, Castiel decided that he may as well start on his list now. Taking a deep, soothing breath to quiet the nerves rolling around in his gut, Cas looked up and met the man’s green eyes, “Dean, before we go, I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate all that you have ever done for myself and for the rest of humanity. You have always done what is right, no matter how hard it may be, and I admire you for that. You are the best man in all of existence.”

Dean looked to be taken aback and confused as he responded, “Uh, thank you?”

Panicking, Castiel decided to pretend that he’d said nothing of import and instead looked at Dean and pointed to the garage, “So, to the car then?”

As expected, Cas might want to actually plan out the right time to attempt to complete the love languages appropriately. Clearly, he had not just found the way to win the hunter’s heart. If anything, that had been one of the most awkward experiences he had.

Castiel decided to head up to the garage and leave Dean standing there in the door way of his room with a dumbfounded look on his face. Hopefully, Cas sighed, this wouldn’t stay in the man’s memory too long. 

Once out on the road, Castiel sat in the back seat and listened to the banter between the brothers. The drive was about 6 hours long, he had plenty of time to think about other ways to approach the hunter about his feelings. 

What had originally seemed to be a more intense hunt ended up being a salt and burn case. While working in close contact with the older Winchester, Castiel found himself barely stopping his hand from reaching out and lacing his fingers through the other man’s hand. Containing these feelings was becoming more and more difficult by the day. 

Taking a moment while Sam was in a little gas station, Cas got out of the car and turned to Dean. Castiel found his nerve wavering yet again. What if he bore his soul to this man only to be rejected? Facing the wrath of Heaven would be nothing compared to what a “No” from Dean Winchester could do to him. Biting his lip and looking at the ground, Castiel gathered his nerve. 

“Dean, I need you to know something.” Breathing out and meeting the green-eyed gaze that made his heart speed up, Castiel spit out, “I know that we haven’t always had the best relationship. In fact, I know there have been times that you wish you had never met me, that you thought I was a horrible being…” Noticing that he was stalling, Cas said the words one more time, “I care for you very deeply. I know that hearing it makes you uncomfortable, but I do.”

“I care for you too Cas, you’re one of my best friends,” Dean said turning to look at the angel. “But where is this all coming from man? Is there something going on that you aren’t telling us?” A look of concern crossed the hunter’s face. It made Castiel’s chest ache. 

“No, I just thought you would like to hear it.” Feeling the defeat in the man’s response, Cas knew that this was not the way to go. Words of affirmation only sounded like a goodbye to him, and he was not about to say anything like that to his hunter. 

Hanging the nozzle back up, Dean looked Castiel in the eye for what felt like an eternity. Cas knew Dean was on to him, but he knew the hunter would never guess why he was acting so out of character.

Sam walked up asking, “Ya’ll ready to go?”

Dean nodded and sent Cas one last look, “Yeah, let’s get home.”

Cas nodded agreeably and climbed into the impala. 

The ride back to the bunker was uncomfortable. Dean drove with the radio up a little too loud to talk over, Sam read a book, and Castiel sat looking out the window. Starting to second guess love languages, he knew he had to at least attempt them before admitting defeat.


	2. Acts of Service

It was time to move on to the next item on the list: acts of service.

Thinking of an act of service that was grand enough to get the hunter to realize the love behind it was going to be difficult. Clearly, raising him from the depths of hell and putting him together piece by piece hadn’t been a big enough clue for the man. Maybe that had been too grand of a gesture. Maybe, what this hunter needed was a simple gesture to show that he was appreciated. 

That’s when the idea hit him. It was far simpler, but would still hold value to Dean. It would once again require borrowing Sam’s laptop to check into recipes, but Cas knew that he wanted to bake a pie.

Cas was poking through the cupboards when Dean walked in to the kitchen.

“Looking for anything in particular?” Dean asked.

Caught red handed and being a terrible liar Castiel responded, “I was just looking around.”

Obviously wanting to avoid small talk, Dean looked uncomfortable, and Cas felt his butterflies from earlier turn to lead. “Dean, is there something you would like to talk about?”

Dean hesitated before responding, “What was up earlier? You’ve been acting weird all day. Is there something going on that you aren’t telling me?”

Knowing that he couldn’t tell the man what he had been trying to do, Castiel replied, “No, Dean. Nothing is going on. I would tell you if it was something.”

With that Dean nodded and gave Cas a suspicious look. He shrugged his shoulders as he walked out of the room. 

That night as the men slept, Castiel opened Sam’s laptop and found a recipe that seemed easy enough to replicate and once again cleared the browser history. He would have to make a supply run. Mojo-ing himself to the nearest 24-hour store, Cas found all the items he would need for the pie. He also remembered to grab a pie dish as never did find one at the bunker. 

Returning to the bunker from his midnight escapade, Castiel shed his coat, rolled his sleeves up, and set to work prepping the apples for the pie. It was far more difficult than he had anticipated to get all the apples peeled and sliced. After mixing everything together and rolling out the dough, it was close to 5 am. He knew the men would be stirring soon, that meant he had to start cleaning up as soon as he got the pie in the oven.

He also got the coffee started when he heard the first sounds of the men waking up. The bitter aroma of coffee brewing and the sweet smell of the pie baking drew the green-eyed man quickly to the kitchen. 

“What’s all this, Cas?” Dean asked with a look on his face that was similar to a kid waking up on Christmas morning. “It’s not my birthday, is it?” 

It took Castiel a tad too long to reply. Dean was wearing his robe, and that meant that they only thing he had on under the soft material was a pair of boxer briefs and a plain black T-shirt. The angel was unable to stop the intrusion of thoughts in his head. Pushing him against the wall and grabbing fistfuls of the gray fabric and pulling that man into a deep kiss…  
Pushing the thought of sensual morning kisses from his head, Castiel turned to the oven and pulled the pie out of the oven.

“I just wanted to do something nice for you. I know that you need your coffee to function in the morning. I also thought that pie would be a welcome change to your regular breakfast foods,” Cas replied as breezily as he could possibly muster. 

“Well, thank you. I really appreciate this Cas.” Dean said sincerely as he served himself a large piece of pie and poured himself a cup of coffee.

Sam walked in wearing his jogging clothes, “Something smells amazing.”

With his mouth full Dean mumbled, “Fat ould ee eye.”

Looking at him and blinking a couple of times, Sam turned to the angel, “Cas, you made a pie?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess I did,” Castiel replied in a nonchalant tone. 

Raising his eyebrows and pursing his lips Sam nodded, grabbed a banana and a bottle of water and said he was heading out for a run.

Dean was working on his third serving of pie and was talking between mouthfuls, “Well, I’m glad we don’t have a case right now. I could really use a day to get some work done around this place.”

Cocking his head and raising his brow, Cas knew that this would be a perfect opportunity to do something that would actually be seen as an act service. This was the perfect chance, but he knew that he couldn’t come across too overly excited to do housework. “Do you have a particular list that needs to get done?”

Dean had finished his pie and was now working on his second cup of coffee. “The air conditioner filters need changed, all the books in the library need to be put back in order and I have a ridiculous amount of laundry to do. And if I find the time today, Baby needs some maintenance.”

Grabbing the plate that had been pushed to the side, Castiel nodded and walked over to the sink, “I could organize the library; I’ve used it frequently. Why don’t you start with the Impala?”

“Cas, I appreciate that, but I need to at least start a load of laundry before heading out,” Dean said. 

When Dean got up to get started with his day, Castiel noticed a faint smile on the man’s face. Maybe acts of service would be the way to go. The hunter seemed to appreciate this more than words of affirmation. 

Sam returned from his run and found Castiel in the library sorting books. Getting quickly to work, Sam asked where Dean was.

“I believe he is working on Baby. He mentioned something about an oil change.” Cas replied. 

Sam’s lips pulled down as he nodded. After a moment of not exactly uncomfortable silence, broken only by the sound of shelving books, Sam took a deep breath, “So, pie, huh? Why did you decide to make one at 5 am?”

Castiel was not about to tell Sam that he was desperately in love with Dean and had decided to give love languages a shot before giving up all hope of any deeper relationship with the man, he instead opted for what should have been the easier answer, “I wanted to try my hand in pie baking. It’s something I had never done before and wanted to see if I was any good.” 

Sam chuckled, “Okay Cas. If you say so.” 

That was the majority of the conversation. Outside of discussion about the library and how to categorize each section, the men worked quietly. Cas looked up from organizing when Dean walked in. He thought to himself that he would never truly tire of seeing the older brother. With his brow damp with sweat, grease stains on his gray tee-shirt and face, and jeans that fit in all the right places. Even without the physical attractiveness, the older man had a soul that was so beautifully broken. He always did what was right, even if that meant hurting himself. It was that selflessness that drew Cas’s attention in the first place.

“Wow, guys this looks great. Cas, thanks for lending a hand. You really didn’t have to.” Dean said upon entering the library. 

Meeting the green-eyed gaze and holding it for just a moment too long, “You’re welcome,” was Castiel’s response.

“Hey, Sam, could you give me a hand changing the filter on the air conditioner?” Dean asked, and the younger hunter hopped up to give him a hand. 

Noticing that he had been staring slightly too long, Cas looked down at the book that he was holding. Reversing Love Spells. Ironic, Cas thought standing there holding a book about undoing love spells while his love went unrequited.


	3. Gift Giving

Even though Dean had appreciated the “acts of service,” it didn’t seem to be the key to unlocking him. That meant moving on to quality time. Taking a deep breath, Castiel already knew that wasn’t it. He had spent years with the man and was always there in any time of need. He had spent hours, days at a time, with Dean, and while Cas could never get enough, Dean always seemed slightly bored, constantly looking for the next thing. As if waiting for the next shoe to drop. Cas knew that Dean might enjoy quality time with him, but that it wasn’t nearly as peaceful or relaxing as Cas would like.

Deciding to skip quality time for now, Castiel moved on to gift giving. This was going to be as tricky as quality time. Dean’s room was sparse and didn’t like to have anything frivolous given to him. If he couldn’t pack it into a bag at take it at a moment’s notice, what use was it?

Castiel realized what the perfect gift would be. It would be painful, but how was that new? In his time knowing the Winchester’s, his vessel had been used up and worn out to the point the human soul that inhabited these bones had made its way to heaven long ago. Pain was something he would endure forever if it meant that the older brother would open his eyes and finally see the angel’s love for him. 

Sitting in his room at the bunker and listening to the men roaming about, Castiel did something that he rarely did these days. He pulled his wings into reality and examined them. Battered and broken but still grand, his wings took up the length of the room when they were fully extended. Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror on the opposite wall, his breath caught. He had never seen himself with his wings in this human form. It was a sight; the slightly iridescent coal black feathers covered the length of his wing span. 

He’d lost feathers before, but he’d never pulled one out on purpose. Wanting only the most pristine for his love, he looked at each of his feathers individually. Finding one toward the end of his left wing, Castiel prepared for the pain that was going to come. Taking a deep breath, he placed his thumb and forefinger on either side of the base and gave a quick, strong tug. He bit into his lip to avoid yelping and drawing attention to what was going on behind the closed door. The pain was like the time he caught his toe on the leg of the table in the library. With the feather in hand, Cas stowed his wings again. No matter how much he appreciated seeing them, they reminded him of his failures.

Now Castiel just needed to find the right time to give it to Dean. Taking the feather and placing it on the desk, he left the room to see what the men were up to. It was a Friday evening and Cas had no plans. The brothers didn’t have a case and the world wasn’t currently geared toward mass destruction. Curious what a relaxing evening was for the Winchester’s, Castiel found the men in the kitchen. Dean was making burgers and Sam was making a salad with grilled chicken while listening to music a touch too loud. Everything was right. It was like walking into home. Unable to stop the smile that played on his lips, Cas walked in and looked around. His eyes lingered on Dean’s rear for just a moment.

“Hey, Cas! Want a beer?” Sam greeted him. 

Knowing it wouldn’t do anything to him but appreciating the offer, Castiel nodded politely and shifted his gaze from the older brothers fine behind and looked up to Sam, “Why not?”

Dean looked at Castiel while he turned the music down, “Sam and I are torn - movie night in or going out. I say in, he says out.”

Castiel had a mental image of him tucked in for the night with Dean watching whatever western flick the man had chosen. A text alert brought the angel’s attention back to the current moment, though. 

“Hell yeah!” It was the younger brother.

Castiel and Dean both looked to Sam with slightly puzzled faces. 

“It’s Eileen. She’s in town and wants to grab drinks.” The younger brother’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. Castiel noticed that Sam had a soft spot for the woman hunter.

Dean chuckled, “Well, Sammy, I’ll give it to ya. I hadn’t seen that one coming. Good for you!” Dean patted his younger brother on the back as Sam headed to change. Dean looked up, catching Castiel’s eye and said, “Alright, it seems like it’s just you and me. Anything you want to do?”

Castiel thought to himself, with the younger brother heading out for the night, maybe this evening he could give Dean the feather. 

***

 

Dean had decided to watch Tombstone for the umpteenth time and Castiel found himself sitting on the couch in the TV room. Dean had his plate with him and a couple cold beers sat on the coffee table. The hunter kicked off his boots and was walking around in just socks. He looked far more relaxed than normal. Wearing a faded band tee and comfortable denim jeans, Castiel took in the vulnerability of the man. Dean’s face wasn’t tight and rigid the way he usually looked while hunting. Here at the bunker, he was a softer man. Cas enjoyed this version of Dean the most. He was much easier to be around when the stress of saving lives wasn’t pressing in from all sides.

Toward the end of the movie, Castiel noticed that he was starting to feel some embarrassment over his gift and had a pit in his gut. The angel told himself the worst that could happen is that Dean didn’t appreciate the feather the way he had expected. He would survive this. After all, he had literally been to hell and back multiple times, and yet here he stood. 

Clearing his throat, Castiel stood up as the credits began to roll. “Dean, could I show you something?” 

“Hmm?” Dean looked at the angel. “Sure, Cas.” 

The angel led the hunter to his door. Taking a silent yet deep breath, Castiel opened the door to his room and walked in. The hunter followed and looked around. 

“What’s up?” Dean asked inquisitively, his brow pulled together. A hint of concern was on his face.

“Dean,” Castiel said, looking into the hunter’s green eyes. “I have something for you.” Looking down, he handed the feather to the hunter.

Dean took the feather and turned it over, examining it. It didn’t look like an average feather; it was far too large to have come from a bird, “What is this…? Cas, is this… is this one of your feathers?”

Still looking down, Castiel nodded. He felt the embarrassment burning red hot across his face. Risking a glance, he looked up through his lashes and saw the look on Dean’s face. It was a mixture of wonder and amazement. To Castiel’s surprise, the hunter seemed to really appreciate the gift. 

“But why?” Dean asked.

Straightening up and standing taller the angel decided to explain the gift. “You know of the profound bond that we share. I wanted to give you something to show you the depths of my feelings for you.” This was it. He was finally going to say what he had been feeling for years. 

“Dean, do you know that I am in love with you?”

The silence was deafening. Castiel knew he wanted to say more, but he didn’t want to send Dean into a panic. As things currently were, Dean seemed frozen holding the feather.

After a few moments the hunter finally spoke. “Cas, I don’t want things to change between us. You know I love you…You’re my best friend...” Dean trailed off and bit his lip, something he did when he was stressed out.

It was simple, Dean biting his lip, but dammit, Castiel couldn’t stop what he did next. Reaching across the space that had been separating them for far too long, the angel grabbed both sides of Dean’s face and caught the hunter’s lips with his. Much to his surprise, Cas was met not by resistance, but instead by the man softening into his touch. The moment it hit him, Castiel stopped and pulled away from the man. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. 

“Dean, I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have… You can shoot me if it would make you feel better…” Castiel was unable to form a meaningful sentence. He couldn’t believe what he had just done. All he wanted to do was apologize, but he couldn’t find the words. 

Castiel longed to reach out and touch the man but thought better of it. He knew there was going to be hell to pay. There was no way Dean Winchester was going to let him off easily. Maintaining eye contact too long and awkward hugs were one thing, but to kiss him without his consent? There were going to be consequences. Inching closer to the hunter, Cas asked, “Dean, are you okay?”

The question broke the trance that the hunter had fallen into. Dean closed his eyes for a long time and when he opened them, there was a gentleness that the angel hadn’t been expecting. “Cas, could I ask you something?” 

“Of course,” the angel replied quickly.

“Would you…” Dean paused and swallowed hard before continuing, “Would you stay with me tonight?”


	4. Physical Touch

Chapter Four

Castiel stood there in shock. He may be caught off guard, but he was not about to let the opportunity pass. Meeting Dean’s eye, Castiel simply replied, “Yes, Dean.” Cas took a step towards the man; his hand balled at his side for a moment before reaching up to touch Dean’s face. With a tremble in his voice, Cas added, “Dean, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. If you would like we can stop whatever this,” he waved his hand through the air, “is right here, right now.”

Dean gave a tight-lipped nod. Whatever internal battle the man was fighting, it looked like Castiel’s side was winning. 

Castiel followed Dean down the hall and into the door way of the hunter’s bedroom. Cas gave the door frame a quiet knock which drew the hunter’s attention to him. 

“Do you mind if I come in?” It didn’t feel comfortable being so formal. Castiel was starting to get that embarrassed feeling again. 

Dean looked up, green eyes hesitant but a small smile played on his lips, “Definitely.” 

That one word was all it took for the anxiety and fear to go out the window. Whatever happened tonight, it would all be worth it. Castiel was spending the night with Dean Winchester.  
***

When people laid down at night, they don’t usually wear shoes or coats. Seeing as how Castiel didn’t sleep, it was never really a problem to stay fully dressed at night. Sharing a room with Dean meant trying to be as human as possible. When the hunter went to change into his night clothes, Cas pulled out the desk chair and put his trench coat and blazer over the back of the chair. It just felt more comfortable and a little more relaxed.

Dean walked back into the room wearing a faded band tee, flannel sleep pants and donning his treasured cotton robe, and every fiber of Castiel’s being lit up. Even wearing the most unattractive clothing known to man, the hunter looked too good for words. Dean sidled over to the edge of the bed and sat down. Castiel, standing awkwardly, turned the chair and took a seat. He didn’t know what was expected of him, but he certainly wasn’t going to cross anymore lines without being told to do so. 

The puzzled look that crossed Dean’s face made Castiel tilt his head, “Yes, Dean?”

“I just thought…” his voice trailed off slightly. “I just thought you would prefer to lay down… in bed with me. Not that you have to!” Dean finished in a rush. This clearly wasn’t black and white for him either. 

Of course! Castiel felt like an ass. Of course, that is what he had meant and why Dean had seemed so uncomfortable earlier. The angel kicked himself internally while he stood. He was still in his slacks and dress shirt. He just hoped that it would be ok for ‘sleeping’. 

Castiel started over to the bed but Dean stopped him short. “If you want to change, I have an extra pair of sleep pants and you can wear any of the tee shirts in the second drawer on the right-hand side.”

As Dean handed the pants to Castiel, the angel couldn’t stop the big grin that spread across his face. He didn’t usually get a chance to change out of the business clothes he usually wore. And the flannel pants were so soft, Cas was almost as excited for the change of clothes as he was about Dean asking him to stay with him. 

Cas fished out a shirt out of the drawer and hurried down the hall to the bathroom. He undressed quickly tossing aside his belt and shoes. Castiel dressed almost as quickly taking just a second to marvel at the comfy pants. On his way out, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He looked genuinely happy. The shirt Cas was wearing was a bit too big, his pants required a roll at the hem, and his hair was slightly wild, but none of that mattered. He was happy.

It only took him two minutes to change, but when he walked back into the room Castiel felt much more relaxed. There was another pillow on the bed. He wasn’t sure where it came from, but it was a very kind gesture. Dean was already lying in bed and seemed to be checking his phone.

“Hey! Looking good. Feel a little more comfortable?” Dean asked impishly.

Castiel nodded and grinned, “I need to invest in flannel pants.”

Walking over to the unoccupied side of the bed, Cas knew that when he sat down, his relationship with Dean would be forever changed. He wasn’t going to pine over the man anymore. This was a new chapter in their story. 

The man and the angel lay in black silence. Castiel could tell Dean’s heart rate was elevated and decided to try to distract him so maybe he would get some rest. 

“If you could change your name to anything in the world, what would it be?” Castiel’s said, his voice breaking the silence. 

Dean chuckled in response, “Seriously?”

“Yes, Dean,” Castiel replied. It was an easy question but required some thinking. Maybe he would learn a bit more about his hunter with the answer Dean chose.

The two sat in the quiet for a few moments. Dean took a deep breath and spoke. “If I could be called anything in the world, I think that I would like to be called Dean Winchester.” His voice rough, “It’s the only name that suits me.” 

Castiel thought for a moment, “I agree, your name does suit you.”

Quiet settled in again but this time it was comfortable and within minutes, the hunter was snoring lightly. Laying in the bed with his hunter, wearing the faded tee shirt and flannel pants, Cas was on cloud nine. Though he didn’t sleep, he closed his eyes and pretended to. 

 

***  
It was just after 3am when Dean’s snores turned to cries. Castiel grabbed the hunter and shook him. “Dean! Dean wake up!” Finally, Cas saw the glint of open eyes in the darkness. 

“Cas…” It was a desperate sound. Dean was shaking and grasping at the angel’s shirt. 

“I’m here Dean,” Castiel said, pulling Dean to his chest and holding him tightly. “I’m here.” 

Castiel held Dean long after the man had quit shaking. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Cas asked quietly into the blackness.

Dean sighed, “Not really.” His finger tracing the worn letters on Castiel’s shirt. “But I can if you really want to know…”

With Dean’s fingers running over his shirt, Cas felt a stirring he knew he had to keep in check. Instead, he thought of how to properly comfort his hunter who clearly needed it. 

Castiel replied, “I will always want to know what troubles you. Maybe I can help ease the burdens you carry.”

The hunter hesitated slightly. His body went from hard and scared to soft. Castiel buried his lips into Dean’s hair and kissed the top of his head encouragingly. When Dean spoke, he sounded defeated. 

“I was in hell. I was doing horrible things. I was torturing souls…” His voice became thick, Cas could tell Dean was fighting a lump in his throat. “I will hate myself until the day I truly die for the things I did down there.” Tears started spilling down his face. 

Castiel reached for Dean’s face and wiped the tears away. As he was doing so, he chose his words carefully. “Dean, I raised you from perdition and put you back together piece by piece. You are not that person anymore, you never have to be that again.” Cas had his own lump rising in his throat, “I would do it all over again, every bit of it, for you.”

The angel held the man close, and the man didn’t pull away. They clung to each other that way for a very long time. 

Eventually Dean rolled over and his dozing was accompanied by light snores, sounds that tugged at every human emotion Castiel could feel. He watched the man sleep and wondered how Dean could feel that he wasn’t worthy of living. Dean Winchester, the man who had saved the world from ending a multitude of times. The man who could make the worst jokes funny. The man who could make a mean burger. Castiel made a simple promise to himself that he would find one thing every day to compliment Dean on. Maybe, just maybe, the cynical man could see himself for what he was worth. 

When Dean’s alarm went off, the man woke with a start. Castiel watched as Dean shook his head and rubbed his eyes as he rolled over to turn the alarm off. 

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel smiled at the hunter who looked a little tired after the nightmare. 

“Morning,” Dean drawled with a mischievous smile playing on his perfectly full lips. 

After spending the night trying to avoid any lecherous thoughts, a flood of obscene images raced through Castiel’s mind. He sighed and scrubbed his face, feeling embarrassed as his erection grew not so invisibly under the blanket.


End file.
